MOVING ON?

LOST IN GRIEF

Helping you find direction in your grief journey

Hello again,

Today I am packing for my next holiday. We leave tomorrow for a holiday in La Carihuela in Costa del Sol. As I sort through ‘holiday clothes’, I am deciding what I will take and what I will leave behind. How much room I still have in my case helps me make that decision. I feel it’s similar to how we manage our lives. How much can we do? What are we not able to do? What can we begin again.

During grief you might find that some people, friends or family, might be pushing you to ‘move on’. They believe that this will make you feel better. This can place pressure on you and make you question the way you are grieving. The idea of ‘moving on’ can make you feel that you will forget the person you have lost. Other that think about ‘moving on’, try and think of ‘moving forward’.

Moving forward allows you grieve while allowing life back in.

Accept your emotions, allow yourself to grieve and find support. Self-care is also important. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time to make a difference. Sitting quietly with a cup of coffee, reading a book or listening to music might help.

Talk about the person you have lost. Embrace new experiences to help you find meaning in life. Happiness is OK it doesn’t mean that you are not still grieving. Do you have a strong faith? Can you find help from you minister, priest or faith leader?

Moving forward is a process of living alongside your grief, not escaping it.

If you find that you have no-one who will listen to you, then please seek professional help.

FIRST AID BOX

This is an exercise I have carried out many times in the past both with individuals and groups. Imagine a first aid box that you may have at home. It contains, bandages, scissors, antiseptic cream etc. Things that you would need for a physical injury.

Now imagine an emotional first aid box. Can you list six things that it would have? What would you have? Mine would definitely hold books. I can relax and get myself lost in a good story. It would also include me being on the beach as I find this calming. It would also hold a friend who I find easy to talk with. It would have music which I find helps me. A glass of wine would also be included. Visiting my grand children and enjoying my time with them.

Your emotional first aid kit may be completely different from mine and that’s OK. You need to include what helps you. Can you try and think about this? It may help.

THE LAST WORD

So, I will finish packing. I have made my decisions about what I will take with me and what I will leave behind. There will be eight of us on this trip and I am looking forward to starting my journey tomorrow. My next blog will be from La Carihuela!

Remember;

Grief has no timeline

Grief is individual.

Until next time,

Lorraine