MULTIPLE LOSSES

LOST IN GRIEF

Helping you find your direction through your grief journey

Hi everyone,

Well if you have been following my blog, you will know that this week I am writing my blog from Alicante in Spain. This is our first time here and it is a beautiful city. We are staying in the town itself but at the marina. Our apartment has a balcony overlooking the sea and its very relaxing. Today we will walk around the area to see what is nearby.

As I talk about loss and journeys, I would like to mention other losses as well as those losses through death. Loss of health or mobility, loss of a job, a home, independence, divorce or the death of a pet. When we add these losses to the loss of a loved one we can become overwhelmed. When we have lost more than one person over a short period this is known as cumulative grief or grief overload.

GRIEF OVERLOAD

With grief overload before the griever has an opportunity to find healing, another loss overwhelms them.

Can you relate to this? Have you suffered multiple losses? How did it effect you? How did you cope?

A common factor of cumulative grief is guilt. You may find yourself remembering one person and mourn their loss, then you remember the other person who has died and you feel guilty that you have forgotten them. If you are dealing with other losses as well, you may have symptoms such as heightened anxiety, fatigue, insomnia and social withdrawal. While I believe that those grieving need some time alone, try and avoid behaviours such as;

*self-isolating from family and friends

*spend days watching TV

*using substances

During the Covid pandemic many grievers suffered from multiple losses. Loss of being with a loved one when they died; loss of following the rituals of a funeral; loss of support from others as they could not visit.

COPING WITH MULTIPLE LOSSES

As with coping with any loss, it is important to acknowledge what you are going through and how it is impacting on you daily living.

*Talking to supportive friends and family will help.

*Join a support group

*Seek out professional help

*Set aside time to focus on one loss at a time

*Self-care. Look after yourself. Basic care as eating, drinking water and trying to get sleep

This may seem too difficult if you are struggling with your grief but sometimes the smallest steps can make the biggest difference. Try and take a small step today.

THE LAST WORD

Today we are visiting a small village outside Alicante. It will be interesting to see what it’s like as we walk through the streets. I am thinking of the cold weather we left behind in Northern Ireland and that we will be returning back to it in a few days. I will miss the warm weather, but I will adapt. Everything has a season.

Remember:

Grief is individual

Grief has no timeline

Until next time,

Lorraine